Genesis 2:18 (NKJV) "And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Genesis 2:24 (NKJV) "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NKJV) "Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV) "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones."
Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD."
Proverbs 19:14 (NKJV) "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD."
Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) "Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
Proverbs 31:10-12 (NKJV) "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life."
Psalms 37:4 (NKJV) "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart."
Ephesians 5:33 (NKJV) "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
1 Corinthians 7:39 (NKJV) "A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:2 (NKJV) "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each ma"n have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (NKJV) "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.” 17 Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.” 18 “I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty.”
"That which is needed in our institutions is the love and fear of God. This will be a wonderful balance to changeable, restless, uneasy minds of the youth. Let the door of the heart be opened to Jesus, and all foolish sentimentalism will disappear. Young men are not dependent for happiness on vain, frivolous, characterless girls or women. They can find happiness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. When the Lord takes possession of a young man’s heart, that young man will be thoroughly disgusted with the cheap pleasure found in the society of vain, unbalanced women who have no depth of religious experience. Such women know not what it means to enjoy communion with God. They are no nearer eternal life than is the open sinner, who is without God and without hope in the world. {Ms 29, 1911, par. 24}
"Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? Has he the traits of character that will make her happy? Can she find true peace and joy in his affection? Will she be allowed to preserve her individuality, or must her judgment and conscience be surrendered to the control of her husband? . . . Can she honor the Saviour's claims as supreme? Will body and soul, thoughts and purposes, be preserved pure and holy? These questions have a vital bearing upon the well-being of every woman who enters the marriage relation. {CCh 113.5}
Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? If he does not respect the honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them. {CCh 113.6}
Let a young woman accept as a life companion only one who possesses pure, manly traits of character, one who is diligent, aspiring, and honest, one who loves and fears God. {CCh 114.1}
Shun those who are irreverent. Shun one who is a lover of idleness; shun the one who is a scoffer of hallowed things. Avoid the society of one who uses profane language, or is addicted to the use of even one glass of liquor. Listen not to the proposals of a man who has no realization of his responsibility to God. The pure truth which sanctifies the soul will give you courage to cut yourself loose from the most pleasing acquaintance whom you know does not love and fear God, and knows nothing of the principles of true righteousness. We may always bear with a friend's infirmities and with his ignorance, but never with his vices. {CCh 114.2}
"I was visited by Brother Chapman. We had most important conversation in reference to his own case and the case of Sister Walker. Both are invalids and have entered into an engagement to be married. Neither is fitted to be bound in marriage contract. We canvassed the subject very thoroughly. It is evident Brother Chapman has serious affection of the lungs, and Sister Walker is afflicted with dyspepsia. The future will determine what they shall do." {Ms188-1898.4}
"Especially in your marriage planning, be careful to get a partner who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you in spiritual growth". – {AC 78.2}
"If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counsellor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide, and in too many cases love-sick sentimentalism has taken the helm and guided the bark to certain ruin. It is here that the youth refuse to be reasoned with. It is here that they show less intelligence than on any other subject. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over many. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by someone." {Lt 3, 1886, par. 14}
"Courtship as carried on in this age is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy. It has a bewitching influence upon the minds. I have been shown that had the purposes of many young persons been carried out, there would have been disappointments, estrangements, separation. The enemy of souls has far more to do with match-making than has the Lord whose property they are. Many youth seem to think that marriage is the attainment of perfect bliss; but if these could see one quarter of the heart-aching letters that I have received from men and women who are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace these lines. Marriage to thousands is the most galling yoke that can be worn. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that are hid under the marriage mantle. This is why I warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of marriage life may appear beautiful and full of happiness, but you may be disappointed as thousands of others have been." {Lt 3, 1886, par. 21}
"The ideas of courtship have their foundation in erroneous ideas concerning marriage. They follow impulse and blind passion. The courtship is carried on in a spirit of flirtation. The parties frequently violate the rules of modesty and reserve and are guilty of indiscretion, if they do not break the law of God. The high, noble, lofty design of God in the institution of marriage is not discerned; therefore the purest affections of the heart, the noblest traits of character are not developed. {AH 55.1}
"Not one word should be spoken, not one action performed, that you would not be willing the holy angels should look upon and register in the books above. You should have an eye single to the glory of God. The heart should have only pure, sanctified affection, worthy of the followers of Jesus Christ, exalted in its nature, and more heavenly than earthly. Anything different from this is debasing, degrading in courtship; and marriage cannot be holy and honorable in the sight of a pure and holy God, unless it is after the exalted Scriptural principle. {AH 55.2}
"There needs to be an awakening in regard to the matter of courtship and marriage. The fifth commandment is held lightly and even positively ignored by the lover’s claim. This commandment is the only one to which is annexed a promise. To slight a mother’s love, to dishonor a father’s care, is a sin which stands registered against many youth. While there are weighty responsibilities devolving upon the parents to guard carefully the future happiness and interest of their children, it is also their duty to make home as attractive as possible. This is of far greater consequence than to acquire estates and money. Home must not lack sunshine. The home feeling should be kept alive in the hearts of the children, that home will be looked upon by them as a place of peace and happiness next to heaven. Then as they come to maturity, they should in their turn try to be a comfort and blessing to their parents. They should not be too ready to leave their parental roof and give their affections and services to a stranger at the very time when they are most needed at home. {Lt 3, 1886, par. 19}
Parents are entitled to the love of their children, and if the children would manifest more affection in words and acts it would be a blessing to both. Every kind attention is appreciated by parents. Before a marriage contract is made, every young person should look carefully to see how his or her absence from the home would affect the happiness of the parents. Do they in their feebleness need the help that you alone can give them? Think carefully in regard to who has the strongest claims upon you. Study diligently the character of the one who asks your love. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life. It should not be taken hastily. While youth may love, let them not love blindly." {Lt 3, 1886, par. 20}
"The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily, and be captivated too readily by the winning exterior of the lover. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the facts in the case are [that] it has little to do with courtship and marriage nowadays. There is serious, earnest reflection to be done before marriage, if you would not have the most miserable, unhappy reflections after marriage. This step, taken unwisely, is one of the most effective means of ruining the usefulness of men and women. Life becomes a burden, a curse." {18MR 313.1}
The following quotation, given in a sermon in 1877 of Charles Spurgeon, a famous non-SDA pastor, is included because it conveys the seriousness of marrying outside of our faith!
"Above all, let me admonish you, young people, not to be “unequally yoked together.” Marriage without the fear of God is a fearful mistake. Those ill-assorted unions between believers and unbelievers rob our churches of more members than any other popular delinquency that I know of. Seldom — I might almost say never — do meet with a woman professing godliness who becomes joined in wedlock to a man of the world but what she goes away. She ceases to follow Jesus, and we hear no more of her. Absorbed in the pursuits, the passions, and the pleasures of the life that now is, she is sucked under the stream and drawn into the vortex. In the romance of her courtship, she glibly said, “I shall win him;” but, in the reality of their conjugal bonds, he could coolly say, “I have won you.” Probably the stronger nature wins the day. In this case, however, a precept of the gospel is violated and the penalty of disobedience is incurred. It is much easier for the one who professes religion to give up the faith, after laying down the cross, than for another who has no religion to take up the cross and follow the Saviour in whom he has never yet believed. I counsel you, young man or woman, who contemplate a marriage on the basis of capricious attractions, without reference to the sanctity of the relationship before God, to communicate your intention to your minister. Do not sneak away without giving an account of yourself. You had better count the cost and pay the price of your own presumption. Should your unwarranted but sanguine hopes succeed, and your earnest endeavours to gain the conversion of your helpmeet be successful, that would be an uncovenanted mercy. If God chose to give it to you, it would not even then excuse you for tempting him by your waywardness, or provoking him to jealousy by your wilfulness. There is an express command, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” I appeal to every Christian man or woman who has been converted since marriage, — Do you not find it exceedingly hard to keep up your courage when one pulls one way and one another? And does it not cut you to the quick to think that your union is but temporary; that, however dear you may be to each other now, you will be parted at the judgment seat of Christ — parted to meet no more? The Lord make us careful about our associates, about those among whom we stand, by whom we sit, with whom we walk!"