A marvelous and highly instructive excerpt on raising children, written to the Hobart Church in Tasmania (Australia), begins by recognizing that many individuals have an ungodly attitude towards children. The excerpt goes on to provide suggestions to parents, pastors and others who recognize in children an important mission field.
"To bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is the greatest missionary work that parents can perform. The mother is entrusted with a greater work than is the king upon his throne. She has a class of duty to perform in connection with her children that no other one can perform."
To The Church In Hobart, May, 1895 [An Excerpt]
The Lord is not pleased with the forbidding attitude that many have maintained toward the children in the Hobart church. They seem to have forgotten children are the heritage of the Lord. They seem to have forgotten the words and the example of Christ, who took little children in His arms and blessed them. We should help and encourage those who are mothers of children by praying with and for them, for they are often in need of encouragement. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 38}
We should remember that God has honored the young. He chose Joseph in his youth to do a special work in behalf of His people. He accepted Samuel when his mother dedicated him to His service, and passed by the aged priest who had neglected to fulfill his solemn, sacred charge, and had failed to train his children in the right way.The Lord communicated a solemn message to the boy Samuel. The Lord has died for children, and He is ready to do a great work for them if parents will co-operate with Him in training and educating their children according to the instruction that He has given. The character in childhood of John the Baptist should be an encouragement to parents in the training of their children. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 39}
"It is not safe to practice habits of fretting and scolding, for you will become unpleasant and harsh in your home, and will be likely to burst into a passion at anything that displeases you. This would greatly injure your soul, and injure the souls of your family. Be patient, be kind, be gentle."
To bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is the greatest missionary work that parents can perform. The mother is entrusted with a greater work than is the king upon his throne. She has a class of duty to perform in connection with her children that no other one can perform. If she daily learns in the school of Christ, she will discharge her duty in the fear of God, and care for the children as the Lord’s beautiful flock. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 40}
Mothers should forbear from fretting and scolding. It is not safe to practice habits of fretting and scolding, for you will become unpleasant and harsh in your home, and will be likely to burst into a passion at anything that displeases you. This would greatly injure your soul, and injure the souls of your family. Be patient, be kind, be gentle. Gain the confidence and love of your children, and it will not be difficult to control them. Never fret, never threaten, never make a promise to your children that you cannot fulfill. Your lack of fulfilling your word will weaken the confidence of your children in you. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 41}
Children are exhorted to obey their parents in the Lord, but parents are also enjoined, “Provoke not your children to wrath, lest they be discouraged.” [Colossians 3:21.] Do not treat them in such a way that they will think that there is no use trying to be good and to do right, for they are treated with injustice and in an unreasonable manner.Children born into the world in this age have many difficulties to encounter. Sin will lie at the door of parents unless they take themselves in hand and qualify themselves to become wise, safe, Christian teachers. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 42}
"When children have done wrong, they themselves are convicted of their sin, and feel humiliated and distressed. To scold them for their faults will often result in making them stubborn and secretive. Like unruly colts, they seem determined to make trouble, and scolding will do them no good. Parents should seek to divert their minds into some other channel."
No doubt you will see faults and waywardness on the part of your children. Some parents will tell you that they talk to, and punish, their children, but they cannot see that it does them any real good. Let such parents try new methods. Let them mingle kindness and affection and love with their family government, and yet let them be as firm as a rock to right principles. Oftentimes the waywardness of children is due to the mismanagement of parents.{Ms 38, 1895, par. 43}
When children have done wrong, they themselves are convicted of their sin, and feel humiliated and distressed. To scold them for their faults will often result in making them stubborn and secretive. Like unruly colts, they seem determined to make trouble, and scolding will do them no good. Parents should seek to divert their minds into some other channel. But the trouble is, parents are not uniform in their management, but move more from impulse than from principle. They fly into a passion, and do not set an example before their children that Christian parents should. One day they pass over the wrong-doings of their children, and the next day they manifest no patience or self-control. They do not keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment. They are often more guilty than are their children. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 44}
"The manifestation of anger on account of the misdeeds of your children will never help them to reform."
Some children will soon forget a wrong that is done to them by father and mother, but other children who are differently constituted cannot forget severe, unreasonable punishment which they did not deserve. Thus their souls are injured, and their minds bewildered. The mother loses her opportunities to instill right principles into the mind of the child, because she did not maintain self-control and manifest a well-balanced mind in her deportment and words. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 45}
"While it is the duty of parents to teach love to their children, they are not to indulge them in wrong habits or in yielding to their evil inclinations. The manifestation of this kind of love is cruel."
Let fathers and mothers make a solemn promise to God, whom they profess to love and obey, that by His grace they will not disagree between themselves, but will in their own life and temper manifest the spirit that they wish their children to cherish. The manifestation of anger on account of the misdeeds of your children will never help them to reform. Parents may manifest sorrow on account of the wrongs of their little ones, and at the same time show love for their children. Let parents set before their children their errors and wrongs, not in a spirit of harshness, but in love. Let them seek to reach the tender heart of the erring one, that he may feel he has grieved Jesus who loves him more than his earthly parents can. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 46}
But while it is the duty of parents to teach love to their children, they are not to indulge them in wrong habits or in yielding to their evil inclinations. The manifestation of this kind of love is cruel. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 47}
The minister of God must be interested in the children and youth if he would be a faithful pastor of the flock of God. He should make his discourses plain and simple, using language that will be easy to be understood. He should follow the lessons that have been given by the greatest Teacher the world can ever know, preaching in such a manner that the uneducated and the children may readily comprehend the theme of salvation. Children and youth have been strangely neglected. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 48}
Some who have not children of their own should educate themselves to love and care for the children of others.They may not be called to go to a foreign field of labor, but they may be called to work in the very locality in which they live. In place of giving so much attention to pets, lavishing affection upon dumb animals, let them exercise their talent upon human beings who have a heaven to win and a hell to shun. Let them give their attention to little children whose characters they may mold and fashion after the divine similitude. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 49}
Place your love upon the homeless little ones that are around you. Instead of closing your heart to the members of the human family, see how many of these little homeless ones you can bring up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There is an abundance of work for every one who wants work to do. By engaging in this line of Christian endeavor, the church may be increased in members, and enriched in spirit. The work of saving the homeless and the fatherless is every one’s business. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 50}
Instead of standing aloof, instead of complaining of the wickedness of children and the trouble they cause, let your influence be used to aid in their redemption. Instead of criticizing the children, seek to aid the weary, care-worn mothers. Seek to lighten their burdens. Here is a mission field at your door where you may exert an influence that will be a blessing to the church. What an army of workers might be added to the church if the children would give their fresh affections to the Lord, and work for other children and youth. There is a work to be done that may be as enduring as eternity. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 51}
"Let every Christian in the church seek to devise plans to interest and instruct the children and be determined that he will not fail nor be discouraged in the work."
Church members should become active, zealous workers, seeking to benefit the souls who are exposed to temptation, and who are being drawn away into perilous paths of disobedience to the commandments of God. Every one who engages in this work in the love of Christ is co-operating with heavenly intelligences who have long been waiting to aid them in the very class of missionary work that has been so long neglected. Those who engage in this class of work will have more than finite energy to work with them and through them. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 52}
Let every Christian in the church seek to devise plans to interest and instruct the children and be determined that he will not fail nor be discouraged in the work. If they work as they should, they will feel the need of divine guidance, for it is not possible to be successful in this matter without the help of God. Children are the property of God, the younger members of the Lord’s family, and interest expressed for these children and for the mothers of these children is in perfect harmony with the laws of God’s government. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 53}
“He that watereth shall be watered also himself.” [Proverbs 11:25.] This is a guarantee that every worker shall receive grace for the grace imparted to others. Every laborer who labors for the good of children and youth, mothers and fathers, neighbors and associates, will find that God will fulfill His promise. He says, “Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? When thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily; and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rearward. {Ms 38, 1895, par. 54}